forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
