ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize