I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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