i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
