At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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