$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
