$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
