is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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