Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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