if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
