You can't special order awesome
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
