bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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