May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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