Just took my morning after pill in the library
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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