yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
