My friends, they love my intelligence
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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