maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
