the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
