I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
