It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
