I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize