Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
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GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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