I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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