I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness