Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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