Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.