There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like, not good at living.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
