I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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