dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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