I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
