No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
