well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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