somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
