Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
