Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
