we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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