my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
