Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
