my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
