just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
