your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
