I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
