Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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