There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
