First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
