he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
