you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
