i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
