is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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