guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize