I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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