Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
