I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Alive.
So much puke
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
