I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
