we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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