she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
please come you make the beer taste better
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
