i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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