I just pynch a tree in the face
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
