Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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