exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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