what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
