omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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