new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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